Scientific Forestry With Krutu

"Bleeeaaargh."

I looked up to find my sister staring at me with her gigantic Bambi eyes.

"What?"

She blinked. "Why did you make that noise?"

I groaned. There I was sprawled spectacularly on my bed, on a nice bright Saturday evening, studying History. History. And guess which chapter.

Something about scientific forestry. See? How am I going to remember the notes of chapter, when I can't even remember its name??

"Bleeeaaargh." I repeated. I looked at my textbook, then at Krutu, then at the textbook.

Then suddenly, an idea stuck me.

By now you should know what that means.

"Hey Krutu," I said casually, "Come over here will you?"

Krutu clambered on the bed and plopped down next to me. "Yes?"

"I'm gonna tell you a story. How about it?"

Krutu smiled so brightly that I though my wall mirror would crack. "Ok."

I sighed. "Right. So now once upon a time, the British people came to India."

"British people were bad right?"

"Ummm...yeah...ok..."

"RIGHT?"

"Yes yes, so these british people told everyone to cut down trees ok? They wanted to plant...stuff."

"ok."

"...and they felt that people were not using the trees properly. So they called in a German specialist. What was his name?"

"um..."

"Dietrich BRANdis."

"Datrich Bandiz."

"Good. So what did he set up?"

"uh...."

"The Imperial Forest Research Institute. Reapeat."

"Impeyal...."

"Imperial Forest Research Institute."

"Imperi-al Fores.....Instooot."

"Imperial forest RESEARCH Institute."

"Imperi-al Fores resa...um"

"Institute Krutu...Institute."

"Institewt."

"Imperial Forest..."

"I'M SAYING IT...Impe-rial Forezz Resuch Insti...Insti.."

"...tute."

"Toot. Institoot."

"Good job. Now go tell it to mummy."

"MUMMY!"

My mom poked her head in. "Yes?"

"Impe...wat was it again?"

"Imperial..."

"HAH...Imperia Forezz Resa Intooit."

"Right." My mother walked out of the room.

"Good job Krut!" I smiled. "Now I'll call you during the exam and you have to tell me this answer ok?"

"What answer?"

"Imperial Forest Research Institute...?"

"Ok."

"I'll continue the story ok?"

"Ok."

"So these baaad Britishers put up The Imperial Forest Research Institute In Dehradun. What did they put up?"

"The Imperiyal...um.."

"Nevermind. So over there, they taught Scientific Forestry. ok?"

"Ok."

"They cut down trees..."

"Why?"

"Um...well...they made trains with it."


"Trains?"

"Yes....erm....trains. And so, they stopped villagers from cutting down trees. But villagers needed trees."

"Why?"

"Um...to..."

"To make trains?"

"NO! No, no, um....they needed fruits for eating and wood....to burn....for cooking."

"They ate wood?"

"No Krutu. You know how we have a gas to put our pans over?"

"Yes..."

"So they used to burn wood and then with the fire they used to cook food."

"Oh."

"So why did the British want to cut trees?"

"For cooking!"

"For making trains Krutu..."

"Oh."

"Ok, so the villagers also used to plant stuff. And they used Swidden agriculture. What did they use?"

"Sweeden agriculture."

"Good. Some local names for swidden agriculture are podu, milpa..."

"Podu..." Krutu giggled maniacly.

"Podu, milpa..."

"Podu," Krutu repeated, and then burst into giggles.

"Yes Krutu, podu. Right. So what was Swidden agriculture. Ok, you see, the people used to plant trees and then burn them..."

"For cooking?"

"No Krutu, no. They used to burn the trees and then plant more trees in the ashes."

"Oh. Why?"

"Because...they felt like it."

"Why?"

"Krutu! So anyways...we'll now move on to the next section. Hunting."

"Oooohh...."

"Now, the villagers used to hunt ok? But the Britishers stopped them from hunting."

"Why...?"

"Does it matter?? The British used to hunt animals like lions and wolves..."

"And deers?"

"Yes, deers too."

"Even the bambies?"

"The who??"

"The bambies. The baby deers."

"Uh...no. They only hunted the mama deers."

"Just like in Bambi!"

"Yes, just like in Bambi."

"And the papa deers? Did they hunt papa deers?"

"Yes, papa deers too."

"But then what if the papa deers died?"

"Then they'd hunt the mama deers."

"What if the mama deers died? Then whould they hunt the baby deers?"

"No they wouldn't. They don't hunt baby deers Krutu."

"Why?"

"Because...!"

"So what about baby wolves?"

At the point, I had my head in my hands. "Krutu, do you want to know the rest of the story or not?"

"I want to know."

"Alright. So then the nomadic people who used to hunt for a living, had to...well...stop hunting. They started collecting stuff and selling it to the British traders."

"Really?"

"Yes really. One such nomadic tribe was called the Mundurucu."

"Moondoocu."

"Good girl. Now listen carefully, when I call u during the exam, you have to tell me this answer ok?"

"Ok."

"Alright, that's enough for today. Did you have fun?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Didi?"

"Mmm?"

" I love you."

"I love you too."

"Didi?"

"Mmm?"

"Can you tell me another story?"

NOTE: The paragraphs in italics are extracts from the Da Vinci Code. The other reference near the bottom is from our ninth standard History textbook. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone here, but you know very well who I am talking about. If you're not in the mood to read sentimental stuff, don't bother to continue. Ignore spelling errors. Will think of title later.

The Catholic Inquisition published the book that arguably could be called the most blood-soaked publication in human history. Malleus Maleficarum - or the Witches' Hammer - indoctrinated the world to 'the dangers of freethinking women' and instructed the clergy how to locate, torture and destroy them. Those who deemed 'witches' by the Church included all female scholars, priestesses, gypsies, mystics, nature lovers, herb gatherers and any woman 'suspiciously attuned to the natural world'. Midwives also were killed for their heretical practice of using medical knowledge to ease the pain of childbirth - a suffering, the Church claimed, that was God's rightful punishment for Eve's partaking of the Apple of Knowledge, thus giving birth to the idea of Original Sin. During three hundred years of witch hunts, the Church burned at the stake and astounding five million women.

Five million women. Five million women were killed for thinking, for trying to be free. For living. If this doesn't effect you, if you feel nothing after reading this, then I would assume you heartless. This cruel ruthless killing of women is nothing short of slaughter. It is cruel, cold-blooded and downright disgusting. It this the grossest form of murder possible. Think about it. How can they have done this?? Forget how, try to think of why??

As a women, yes a woman, it hurts me to read this. I'm far past tears, as Nidhi puts it, it just hurts. Deep down inside. It's sad, that's what it is. It hurts you to read it and pains you to know the pain that woman went through - and still does.

Women, once celebrated as an essential half of spiritual enlightenment, had been banished from the temples of the world. There were no female Orthodox rabbis, Catholic priests, nor Islamic clerics. The once hallowed act of Hieros Gamos - the natural sexual union between man and woman through which each became spiritually whole - had been recast as a shameful act. Holy men who had once required sexual union with their female counterparts t commune with God now feared their natural sexual urges as the work of the devil, collaborating with his favorite accomplice...woman.

This is it. This is what woman is considered as now. The devil's accomplice. To those of you who think this is funny, it isn't. It is cruel and hurtful and wrong. How dare they label us as the accomplice of devils? Women, without whom man wouldn't even be alive. If not girls like me, wouldn't it hurt you to call your own mother - a devil's accomplice? And for what, giving birth? Something that was once considered a gift.

Not even the feminine association with the left-hand side could escape the Church's defamation. In France and Italy, the words for 'left' - guache and sinistra - came to have deeply negative overtones, while their right-hand counterparts rang of righteousness, dexterity and correctness. To this day, radical thought was considered left wind, irrational thought was left brain, and anything evil, sinister.

Discrimination, inferior treatment, it all starts at school. Teasing a girl my seem like a lot of fun, but put yourself in her shoes for a minute. There is a limit to teasing. Making fun of her body, of other more private things, hurts her to extents that you cannot imagine. It is downright sick. That's all it is. And boys who do that deserve to be called as the devil's accomplice.

Do you think this injustice is right? Do you feel that women are not equal to men? Do you feel that they must be burnt for easing the pain of bearing a child, that, no doubt, the man wanted to have? It is easy for the men to say that the women deserve it, but I don' think there is a single man who could give birth to a child and live through the pain.

The days of the goddess were over. The pendulum had swung. Mother Earth had become man's world, and the gods of destruction and war were taking their toll. The male ego had spent two millennium running unchecked by its female counterpart. The Priory of Sion believed that it was this obliteration of the sacred feminine in modern life that had caused what the Hopi Native Americans called koyanisquatis 0 'life out of balance' - and unstable situation marked by testosterone-fuelled wars, a plethora of misogynistic societies and a growing disrespect for the Mother Earth.

In 1793, the Jacobin politician Chaumette sought to justify the closure of women’s clubs on the following grounds:

‘Has Nature entrusted domestic duties to men? Has she given us breasts to nurture babies?
No
She said to Man:
Be a man. Hunting, agriculture, political duties…that is your kingdom.
She said to Woman:
Be a woman…the things of the household, the sweet duties of motherhood – those are your tasks.
Shameless are those women, who wish to become men. Have not duties been fairly distributed?

The arguments that follow were put forth by a certain Chaumette. These words are said by a true man; egoistic and blinded for power. As a woman, I believe it my duty to fight on the behalf of all the ‘daughters of Eve’ and children (as are men) of God.

Monsieur Chaumette has asked:
‘Has Nature entrusted domestic duties to men?’

Nature has not entrusted duties to anyone. Both men and women are equal in terms of duties and thus should be treated equally. Women have not been marked with domestic responsibility as men have not been marked with war related ones. This is a mindset created by man, human being, and not Nature. Men have always sought to be dominant and females have always quietly accepted, only because man’s ego is difficult to harbor.

His reply was:
‘Has she given us breasts to nurture babies?’

Nature has given women the power of reproduction and it is from her womb that the very first man was born. Thus this power should not be interpreted as a sign that women should stay at home. A woman nurtures her child only because she has breasts and man does not. It can be said that she is the one because of whom man is what he is, a powerful warrior. But does she not nurture a daughter the same way? Every child, irrelevant of sex is given the same amount of love, respect and opportunity. So why should that change with time?

He claims that:
‘She said to Man:
Be a man. Hunting, agriculture, political duties…that is your kingdom.’

What is hunting but a search for food? Can a woman not do this task? Does she not do it already? What is agriculture? The raising of crops, of life. Does not a woman raise children? Aren’t children, after all, lives? What is the difference; the amount of commitment, the labor? I think not! What is politics but a game invented by man, no doubt by women as well! How could Nature create man so he could command something that he invents?

Monsieur Chaumette unabashedly replies:
‘She said to Woman:
Be a woman…the things of the household, the sweet duties of motherhood – those are your tasks.’

The “sweet duties of motherhood” that all women are entitled to are not tasks. They are works of nature that have nothing to do with duties such as war, agriculture, politics. How do these motherly “duties” entitle her to household tasks? Why must she stay at home only because she can give birth to a child? God gave man and woman the same hands. Then why is there a difference in what these hands can do?

His final blow is:
‘Shameless are those women, who wish to become men. Have not duties been fairly distributed?’

Women are not in the least trying to be men. What is man? Hard work? Politics? The ability to fight? Not true! Woman can be all these things as well. Women are not trying to be men, they are trying to prove their worth! And shameless are those men who force them to sit at home. The duties have NOT been fairly distributed; in fact, they have not been distributed at all!

These are the answers to your questions, Monsieur Chaumette. Too long has woman been but inferior. Too long has she toiled away only to be suppressed by man. The time for women has come, and your kingdom of elite men will crumble before her rage for all your mothers, sisters and daughters fight for this cause and even the strongest of men, and even, you Monsieur Chaumette, cannot prevent the forthcoming Revolution.