Bittersweet Blues

A sudden spasm electifies me

I'm good, I'm great, I'm happy, I'm free

Twirling around, humming to me

The sun is so bright, I ponder in glee

I sniff all the flowers, take in the scene

everything's glowing, it's got some weird sheen

Life is so gorgeous, I love being a teen

I step in the study, and then I careen

Or maybe I hear, some words, or just one

that suddenly drain the joy and the fun

quite unrelated, no connection, none,

but somehow they vacuumed my internal sun,

I'm crying, I'm drowning, I'm screaming at life

I moan and I groan over sorrow and strife

The world kicks me out, the blade of a knife,

the kind that is used by the butcher's wife

I lie on the bed, stare up at the wall,

swimming in misery, in depression I fall,

I then get a mail, or sometimes a call,

and suddenly I'm not that depressed at all.

I'm solemn, I'm serious, I feel fifty-two,

I introspect on why the sky's blue,

I see a future where hardwork will do,

I face reality, I try to speak true,

And out of the blue, I song I will hear,

a movie I'll see; a change in gear

where I feel like I'm drunk on rum and/or beer

I giggle, I laugh, I feel no fear,

I sway unstably, I trip, I hurt,

I laugh, I snort, I play in the dirt,

I feel suicidal, I feel alert

I wear my favourite jacket and shirt,

and suddenly I'm humming, singing amen,

I pick up a book, I pick up a pen,

I write all this down, like write now, and then,

the hormonal cycle, begins again.