Annoying much?

All humans have qualities that deserve applause. Some of them just deserve...a sarcastic one (preferably accompanied with the subtle rolling of eyes). Here are some annoying incidents that you just might find yourself applauding...

1. One of the things I hate most is when you're late for something - i mean, very late - and some godly entity who believes in basking in another man's humiliation pipes up (louder than necessary, mind you) and says something along the lines of - "Your late, buster." The best reply is a withering look accompanied by an exclamatory- Really? And I never knew...!

2. For some reason, people find a sadistic pleasure in expressing their exhilaration over your distress by gleefully putting forth their malicious triumph in an eloquent - "You're so dead!". I beg your pardon, but I do believe I'm very much alive...

3. When people morn over lost loved ones who died in a gruesome motorcycle crash, some innocent bystander always comes up with a sympathetic- "Oh, so it was an accident then?" Oh dear no, she liked banging her bike into ten ton cement mixers, did it all the time as a matter of fact. Sadly, these people are no longer invited to local funerals...

4. When your never before seen aunt and uncle visit all the way from Pandalpur, the first sign of their presence is a loud dull roaring (like a waterfall, you know...?) as they smash your face against their ever protruding stomach, a negligible whack between the shoulder blades, followed by the infamous verse - "Oh dear, you've...grown!" Like its the last thing in the world that a person of your age should be doing...

5. People have a habit of letting loose a stream of insults in your face and then giving you a cheeky grin. The best bit is when they guffaw at your shocked expression and then add - "But no offense." To you maybe...

6. When you slam into a wall and your parents rush over to scold you with instructions like, "You should be more careful!" Well I'm sorry if it hurt you as well...

7. When you do something stupid, like touch a hot iron, the first reaction you get is "So did you learn your lesson?" No mummy, I'm gonna touch it again, just to make sure it wasn't a dream or something...

8. When someone sees my mother holding my sister's hand, they look at her as if she's an alien and then say, "Is that your sister?" No, that's a random girl my mom picked up at the dollar shop on the way...

9. When you come home on an exam day, your parents ask you one of the most irksome question possible- "So how was the test?". Oh just dandy mom, really, I had the time of my life...so how was the funeral?

10. Here's a random one I came up with that can be used for other references as well. Someone gazes up at the sky at night and says, "look at the starts..."I mean really, what else could I be looking at up there darling?

11. I had to write this one. It's very annoying if, when you're in the middle of something, the phone starts ringing, you ask who it is, and the voice on the other line says "You didn't recognize me?" I know atleast fifteen thousand sixty five people across the globe. Do you really expect me to remember your voice...??

12. When you tell someone some serious news and their reply is "You're joking right?", it's like a personal blow to your sense of humour. I mean, my jokes aren't that bad...right? (no need to roll your eyes, sunshine.)

And yes, I will add some more once I think of them...hope you enjoyed!