Memories

These incidents are very true. Ask my personal witness Ajinkya if you like (though I don't think you'll get much out of him....he'd be laughing too hard).

INCIDENT 1: THE PLASTIC BUNNIES.

There was only so much you could do to a plastic bunny.

I mean, they were cute, normal looking plastic bunnies about the size of a table-tennis ball. They were coated with colourful furs of every baby colour imaginable. Baby pink, baby blue, baby green, baby yellow. Baby, baby, baby. Cute, cute, cute.

I mean seriously, What's the most one could do to them? Rip off their ears? Break off their toes? Peel off their eyes? Drown them in apple sauce??

Think of the absolute worst form of torture options available to an aspiring plastic bunny.

Ajinkya and I though of something ten times worse.

We gathered the plastic bunnies and sat on the cold kitchen floor. We were three, for crying out loud. Plastic bunnies were a popular attraction. The parents were completely unaware of us. From their point of view, we were two toddlers playing bunnies-go-to-Lalaland. What could two toddlers do with a few plastic bunnies?

Never underestimate psychopathic three-year-olds. Especially if their name happens to be Ajinkya Joshi.

Ok, so it wasn't all his fault. For those of you who have met him, I congratulate you for having survived the experience and assume that you know that hanging around Ajinkya for more than half an hour could lead to deep trouble. For those of you who have not met him (thank goodness for you), here's a little insight:

Alright, Ajinkya is my very old childhood friend. I've known him for...thirteen years now I believe? Anyway, it was usually me, Ajinkya, Goonjan (yes, the one and only) and a quiet boy called Aneesh who would wreck havoc everywhere. Ajinkya and I, mainly. Well Tanay wasn't any better....

but that's a different story.

Where was I? Yes, so Ajinkya is what we call a 'special case'. I'm three months older than him (it so totally shows) but mentally, it could be three years or so. He looks at the world, frankly, as one big colossal joke. He laughs at mildly disturbing things or things that aren't even remotely close to jokes. He makes pjs out of pjs. He does crazy, impulsive, exasperating stuff. He tends to annoy the hell out of me and laugh for no reason whatsoever. He used to take two hours to finish his dinner. He broke Goonjan's vase once.

He is Ajinkya. full stop.

At age three, were hadn't yet developed the sense of what was 'good' and what was 'bad'. We only knew the basic facts of life.
Number one, Santa Clause does exist.
Number two, it was universally known and accepted that bunnies are white.

Which is the thought that we shared through mutual understanding and nonsensical baby talk. We agreed that colouring them up in pink, blue and green was totally unacceptable and was a crime that required our attention immediately. It was one of those driving obsessions. I have to find out who she is. I must have that candy bar.

Bunnies have got to be white!

Having thought the problem through, analyzed the situation and assessed our resources, we proceeded in taking the most appropriate course of action. Very solemnly, we carried out the task that could shake the very foundations of the toddler world.

~

Having been silent for more than fifteen minutes, suspicion began to worm its way into the parental minds. Yet, they didn't bother to check what we were up to.

That is, until Aneesh came home, peeked into the kitchen, and let out a loud, bloodcurdling scream.

Bracing themselves for something unpleasant, they scouted their way towards our little kitchen club. They didn't brace themselves enough. They stood in horror and shocked silence as two wide-eyed toddlers started up at them. Aneesh sobbed violently and was more than ready to murder us. Still screaming, he lunged at me and Ajinkya.

It took a lot of consoling and prying to get Aneesh's little hands off of our necks. Completely harrowed by this unexpected reaction, Ajinkya and I stared at each other in confusion. What had we done wrong? We were only doing our duty by following one of nature's most important laws. Bunnies are white. It wasn't like we poked out their eyes, or broke their toes, or ripped off their ears.

We only peeled of their lush, baby coloured fur. We only clawed at their skin and tore it off their bodies, leaving them plain, plastic and white and also leaving behind a gory mess in the kitchen in their wake.

Sigh...that's what we did, Ajinkya and I.

INCIDENT 2: THE CANDY CANE

Me and Goonjan (I hope you aren't getting tired of her, but she's essentially my bad luck charm) stared in horror at the gigantic plastic candy cane in both our hands. It wasn't necessarily the enormousness of it that had our mouths hanging. No, the fact that half of it was in my hands and the other half in hers was what made our day.

There was a complete silence that followed the cracking that had echoed through the house.

To say that we were warned to be careful with it would be downright lying. We had been screamed at over and over again that we were not to bring harm to it; not a scratch or a stain.

To say we had breached that rule would also be a lie.

Goonjan and I stared at it stupidly, both halves of the hollow candy cane hanging limply in our arms.

It was Ajinkya who broke the silence.

To say that he chuckled would not do justice to the crime he committed. He burst into peals of infectious Ajinkya-snort-laughts that, at the moment, held no charm for anyone. Personally, I didn't see what was so funny in this situation. Bu then, Ajinkya's sense of humour wasn't normal. Well, Ajinkya wasn't normal.

Mihir's reply was more suitable, eloquent and simple. "Shit."

Ameya, who until now was typing on his computer, whirled around to see what we "kids" were up to. He let loose a string of profanities that would have made his great-grandmother role over in her grave. Mihir winced at the cussing and Ajinkya's laugh hitched up and octave.

"What the hell did you do?!?" Ameya screamed. For a sixteen year old boy, his vocabulary was pretty dirty. My sarcasm wanted to answer with a 'gee, I dunno, what does it look like we're doing?' but I don't think that would've boosted our chances of survival.

Goonjan started hyperventilating and muttering to herself. I passed the time glaring venomously at Ajinkya, who was perched on top of the bunk bed, his neck beyond reach of my hands. He grinned at me gleefully. Obviously, he was having fun.

Luckily Aditi hadn't found out yet. I really don't understand her obvious attachment to a plastic candy cane, but Aditi was kind of weird that way.

Just then, right on cue, Aditi walked in. At first, she didn't notice anything amiss. And then she saw the broken candy cane and her brother's purple face.

I swear she was going to pass out. With and agonized scream, she pointed a shaky finger towards us.

"She did it!" Goonjan cried and shoved her half of the candy cane at me.

"I did not!" I cried in outrage. This was so typical Goonjan. Blame it on me. Dang it, why couldn't I have thought of that?

"Namrata?" Aditi cried.

"I didn't!" I protested, pointing at Goonjan, "She's framing me!"

"Yeah right!"

"Seriously! I was holding your candy cane and she grabbed it out of my hands. That's how it broke. Back me up you guys."

Mihir remained stubbornly silent. Ajinkya snorted with laughter. It was obviously not the most convincing reply in the world. I threw them another I'm-gonna-kill-you look.

"Sure Namrata," Goonjan scoffed, "Stop lying. I had the candy cane in my hands. You pulled it out."

"What the hell?!?"

"It's true." Goonjan turned her wide Bambi eyes on Aditi. "I would never break your stuff. Namrata's the head of that department."

Rats. She was good. Nobody could deny that I was definitely the clumsiest one in the room. My record for breaking stuff surpassed all. I glared at Goonjan with obvious hatred. That girl really could lie.

Aditi buried her face in her hands and sank to the ground. Her shoulders were heaving from crying.

Great. Now look what you did. I glared silently at Goonjan.

She glared back. Look what I did?!? YOU'RE the one who broke it.

Har har. I think Pinocchio's nose grew a wee bit longer.

Goonjan threw me a withering look. Save it for someone who'd believe you.

Some 'best friend'.

Aditi's red face emerged from her hands. "You're going to have to fix it. I don't care how, but I want it in one piece by today before you leave."

We started to protest but fell cold when we saw Ameya's murderous glare. Holding Aditi's shoulders, he promptly exited the room with her.

Ajinkya howled with laughter. I saw Mihir's lips twitch upward in a smile. Oh very funny, I wanted to snap at him.

Goonjan pouted. "Great. Just great. How are we going to fix a stupid plastic candy cane."

I shrugged. "What's the deal with it anyway? I mean, I bet you get one of these in Wall mart."

"Her grandmother gave it to her or something." Mihir replied. He was smart for a guy who was two years younger than me.

I snorted. "Who gives their grandchild a giant toy candy cane?"

"Aditi's grandmother." Ajinkya grinned and then burst into laughter. Smart Ajinkya, very smart.

"So how do we fix this?" I sighed. Searching for an idea, I sat down next to Goonjan and we sighed in synchronization. We were on the same side. Temporarily. As my eyes roved Ameya's study desk, they fell on a bottle of Elmer's.

I have an unwavering faith in Elmer's. Ever since it fixed my china tea pot (it didn't even leak anymore) I have used it for all material things I break. Of course, toy candy canes were pretty heavy, but given time, I was sure it would stay. Unless you played Star Wars with it or something.

We sat there, Goonjan and I, trying to piece it back together. Fitting it again was no problem. The problem was keeping it that way until the glue set. Of course, being the two of us, we tried various different ways of holding it together but none of them were that successful.

Finally we gave up.

Goonjan looked at me. I looked at Goonjan.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

Mihir's brow furrowed. "What are you thinking?"

I grabbed my sweater as Goonjan slipped into her winter coat. "Methinks it's time for a quick getaway."

Luckily, we'd be on the next continent by the time Aditi was back.

INCIDENT 3: WITCHES AND PIGS

When I was eight years old, I was a wimp.

I mean completely. Those who know me now know that I'm not that bad a coward. Like I don't get freaked out by the dark. Bugs are creepy, but I can handle them (better than Nidhi anyway). Scary movies don't have me crying at night. I might get twitchy, but I definitely sleep in my own room.

But at age eight...I was a different person.

It was Ajinkya and me at his grandmother's house. We were playing with his toy animals, well, at least that's what we were doing. Then he started telling me a story.

Believe me, this story haunted me for the next three months.

I should not have listened to it in the first place. It was a scary story that I snort at now, but back then, when my imagination ran wild, I was a real believer in those crappy stories. And the fact that for once in his life, Ajinkya looked dead serious when he told it, didn't help either.

So anyway, it was broad daylight while he narrated the story but it still creeped me out.

"And then the campers came back and saw the tent shaking. And when they went inside, they saw nothing but the inside of the camp covered in blood and heard Blair Witch laughing in the night."

I shivered. '...covered in blood.' The phrase played around in my head.

Ajinkya watched me steadily, assessing my reaction. I looked away out the window. It was dull and rainy and grey outside. It kinda creeped me out. What if Blair witch came right now in this room....

Stop it Namrata. I scolded myself. There were no such things as witches.

Ajinkya leaned forward, smirking. "Scared?"

I glared hatefully at him. "No."

He leaned back, still smirking. I ignored him and returned to our toys, arranging them around me.

"Did you like the story?"

I shrugged and changed the topic. "Help me put them up here will you?"

He immediately got to his knees, obviously disappointed at my lack of reaction. We worked silently, me dwelling on the story he had told me. '...covered in blood.' I shook my head. Cut it out I told myself.

I paused and frowned. Where was the pig? I had kept it here just a minute ago...

"Where's the pig?"

Ajinkya's head snapped up and he frowned. "You can't find the pig...?"

"It was here when we were playing. Before you told me the story..." I shivered again. Ajinkya didn't notice, but instead he sprawled out on the ground to look under the bed. I overturned the pillows to check where it was. Nope.

After searching the whole room, we returned back to the bed with empty hands. I couldn't think where the pig could possibly have gone. I was positive that I had kept it right in that corner...

"Where did it go?"

It was more of a rhetorical question, but Ajinkya wasn't one for brains. His head snapped up and a weird look crossed his face.

"What?" I asked wearily.

"Could it be...?" He muttered softly to himself. Then he shook his head.

"What?" I repeated.

He looked past me out the window, his eyes unfocused and almost anxious. I waited impatiently for him to explain. Slowly, he turned his head towards me and looked into my eyes.

"Do you think....she took it?"

"Who took it?" I asked nervously.

His eyes never left mine and I could hear the tremor in his voice. "Blair Witch."

The name did wonders to me. I suddenly felt clammy and my heart raced with fear. "Don't be stupid."

He looked dead serious. "I'm not kidding."

I got up angrily and walked to sit by the window. The view outside didn't help much. Like I said, it was grayish outside, the second best setting for a scary story. I imagined her, with her blood-red eyes and evil smile, sitting on her broom. I imagined her breathing down my neck and snatching it....the toy pig.

The absurdity of the fact that the object in question that was missing was a toy pig snapped me out of my dream world. I mean, of all things sacred, why would Blair Witch steal a toy pig??

I realised that Ajinkya was watching me carefully. I turned around and glared at him.

Suddenly, he jumped to his feet and let out a soft scream.

I whirled around, jumping to my feet as well. Nothing moved. I put a hand to my chest. My heart was beating wildly.

Ajinkya's eyes were wide. "I saw her. Right behind you. She was there."

"She did not steal the pig!" I squealed. But I could hear the doubt heavy in my own voice.

He was practically whispering. "Then where did it go Namrata?"

I shivered at the eeriness. He had a point. What other explanation could there be for the missing pig...? I stepped forward, squinting to the rain outside. Was that black dot in the distance a bird? Or could it be...?

I swear I could hear the evil laughter.

"Boo."

Suddenly, I felt a hands grab my shoulder.

I swear I must have broken all the windows in the house with that single, earsplitting scream. I whipped around, my heart nearly exploding form the sudden heart attack.

It took me a moment to focus on what was happening. When I did, I saw Ajinkya's grandmother staring at me from the doorway and Ajinkya lying on the bed, howling with laughter.

Ajinkya's grandmother looked at my disheveled self in worry. "What happened honey?"

"Toy...pig....lost...witch stole it..." I tried to breath. Ajinkya's laughter rang in my ear.

His grandmother stared at me. "Wha-at?"

Ajinkya got up then, tears streaming from his eyes. "She doesn't know what she's saying."

I glared at him in hysteria. "Then where's the pig? It must have been her, how else can you explain the pig...!"

"The pig is with me!"

Ajinkya drew his hand out from under him. I stepped forward in disbelief. He uncurled his fist, fighting off a grin. There, lying perfectly safe in his clammy hands was the toy pig.

"I couldn't help myself. You totally fell for it, Namrata!"

(I never quite forgave him for that one. I took me three months to be able to go into a dark room all by myself.)

INCIDENT 4: A DAY AT TANAY'S (This one doesn't have Ajinkya in it but an equally annoying friend of mine has conveniently filled in his place.)

Tanay was really short.

Though he was a year older than me, he was about a head shorter. Kind of chubby, fair, with glasses, but not the geeky type. In fact, I'd consider him the most wanted guy in the class. Suave, smooth and funny. And in my case, extremely annoying. Ok, I don't know about the rest of the girls, but I definitely didn't fall for his charms. Sure, I enjoyed his company but some of his stupid jokes had me raising my eyebrow.

His sister Pooja was witty, outgoing and ambitious. She was about...five years older than me? Or maybe six. I don't know. She was pretty short too, and fair. And had glasses. But she was pretty in a kind of soft way.

A day in their house was like a live T.V. show. Fun, crazy and had you tangled up in one of Tanay's homemade land mines.

Going to the park with Tanay was risky business. He was the world's biggest prat; showing off whenever he got a chance. We started playing basketball (he showed off by shooting a three-pointer backwards with his eyes closed) and ended up playing catch with his tennis ball. Actually, it ended up with me playing fetch.

"Aaaand this is the winning ball....if she catches it, India is sure to win the match...."

That's Tanay's commentary in the background. Arms hanging uselessly at my sides, I gawked and squinted up at the tiny ball that flew ten storeys high above my head. This could take some time to return to Earth.

"Will she take the wicket? Will India win the match?!?"

It was pretty high up, as you might have guessed, and the fact that it was speeding very rapidly towards me didn't help much. Catching it would ensure that it burned a hole right through my hands. The sun glinted in my eyes, blinding me momentarily.

"And oh.....India lost. Pity."

I glared at him with pure hatred. Show off.

~

I sat corss-legged on Pooja's bed, reading the Half Blood Prince. Pooja, to my surprise, wasn't monitoring us in her room but had left Tanay and me to behave. I guess she trusted that I would be able to control her younger brother.

Speaking of which, Tanay was curled up in the bean bag chair next to the bed, fiddling with his camera. He was obviously very bored and pretty annoyed with me, but he didn't show it.

I turned the page, too lost in my world to notice him. Why did James and Lily have to die? It would've been cool if they had actually escaped. Naw, them dead just...fits. But then...

I frowned. "Hey Tanay, you've read Harry Potter right?"

"Yeah." He pressed something on his camera and it clicked.

"You know how Voldemort came to kill the Potters right? So then, why didn't they just diapparate with Harry? isn't that like possible?"

"Uh huh...and how do you feel about that?"

My eyes still glued to the book, I frowned at the question. "How do I feel about that? Nothing in particular of course."

"And how do you feel about that?" came his gentle, understanding voice.

Huh?

My head snapped up to see what he was doing and I groaned in frustration. He had held his camera to his mouth like a mike, his face the picture of innocence and concern. I saw the gleam in his eyes.

"Buzz off..." I rolled my eyes and went back to reading.

There was silence. And then another click.

"Here we are, in the wild jungles of Pooja's bedroom. It's a crazy place out here, one should be very careful indeed..."

I grit my teeth. Here we go with the Australian accent again.

"As we quietly aproach a thicket, we happen to glimpse something in the distance. And oh! A rare species of large South Asian mud worm. Watch it revel in its naturaly muddy habitat. Smell it? Ah...the horrific smell of these mud worms are it's killer advantage. Oh! It's moving now. See the way it's large, shallow eyes seem to pierce us. If looks could kill! What's that noise? It snorting! What a fascinating sound! Is it calling to it's mate...? Oh dear, it has seen us! It's coming! Run for your lives people...!"

Oh you better run Tanay.

~

"Tanay, don't you have homework?"

That was Pooja. She said it loud enough for her mom to hear. She liked getting Tanay in trouble. I don't blame her really. At the moment, we were sitting on the couch, eating pizza. Tanay was literally buried behind his mom's cell, playing some stupid game on it. Pooja threw another glare at him.

"Don't you have homework?"

"I do," came his muffled reply.

"So shouldn't you be doing it?" Pooja rolled her eyes. You have to ask Tanay direct questions, or else you can't expect a complete answer.

"I am doing it."

I snorted. Wonder how he's going to worm his way out of this one.

Tanay's mom didn't even look up. "Tanay, do your homework."

"What homework does he have?" I asked.

"Math."

"Tanay!" Pooja cried in exasperation.

"I'm doing it!" came his reply.

"Right, because mom's cellular poker game is a part of your Math ciriculum." Pooja said sarcastically. I snorted.

Tanay grinned and winked. "Chapter 8. Statistics."

"Tanay," his mom sighed, "Go do your homework."

Tanay, Tanay, Tanay. What do we do with you?

~

"You done yet?"

I was on the computer while Tanay was sprawled on the gorund doing his homework.

"I'm doing Maths," came his muffled reply.

"Hurry up. What question are you on?"

"17," He grinned.

"How many questions are there?" I sighed wearily. Hang out with Tanay, and you realise that question like these are vital.

"75," he laughed. I groaned and started vibrating my leg.

"That'll take ages!" I sighed, "They give you a lot of homework huh?"

"Yeah...I have to stay uptil two at night sometimes."

I felt sorry for him. "Poor you."

He sighed dramatically and put up and expression of woe. "I know. Life is so demanding."

"I understand. You must be tired. It'll take some time huh?"

"Naw, I'll finish in ten minutes."

I looked at him skeptically. "58 questions in ten minutes?"

"We only have to do till question 50."

I glanced at him with irritation as he grinned cheekily. There was nothing I could prove that he had done to annoy me, but that was Tanay's way of doing it. "Anything else you'd like to tell me before I start sympathizing with you again?"

"Not really."

I glared at him silently. Never make the mistake of sympathizing with Tanay unless you have proof of his statements.

"So how long will you take?"

"Hmmm...ten minutes."

"Ten minutes for 33 questions?"

He started laughing. "We only have to do the odd numbered ones."

~

It was a nice dream. I was floating in the clouds, jumping here and there, the warm sun lighting my skin. I sighed and turned my face up to the sky. It was a clear blue sky, birds twittered and squirrells chirped. A nice, normal dream. Pleasant.

I pranced along the biscuit road to the cand house at the far end. It was a pleasant walk. I carefully pushed open the cookie door and crumbles fell to the gorund. A nice pleasant smell wafted to my nose. The room was dimly lit, but I could see from the light of the fireplace, where a warm fire crackled.

I closed my eyes and took it all in.

"Ahoy matie. Arouse from slumber or I'll chop off your neck!"

My eyes flew open. I screamed.

In front of me was a wild looking pirate. He was standing over me, his feet planted on either side, trapping me in bed. He had a large black hat that covered half his face, an eyepatch and a golden tooth glittered at my face. Shaking, I crossed my eyes to look at my nose, where a gleaming sword point touched it lgihtly.

The pirate growled. "Get up, the waves are a calling! We have raided your maiden and the loot has been bagged! Fight for your honour, you swag!"

I gaped at him. He fiddled with something at his utility belt, cursing slightly. Finally, he drew out another flimsy plastic sword and tossed it to me. I fumbed with it and then caught it in my shaking hands.

I stared at him. "Tanay...?"

"I am not Tanay, but Captain Gold Beard, and I challenge you to a dule!" He roared.

I groaned, throwing the sword at him and buried my face in my pillow. "Go away Tanay."

I felt something poke my back. "Get up you coward, and fight like a man!"

Candy house, candy house, candy house...I kept chanting to myself. Tanay's plastic sword poked me harder. "Get up I say!"

Blue skies, green trees, blue birds, red pirates...NO....parrots....red parrots...

"Awaken, scurvy scallawag, and cross sowrds with me! Avenge thy crewmates!"

I knew he was obsessed with pirates. But this was complete madness.

There was a russling over me and then I heard his voice near my ear. "Plus, mom has made pancakes."

Then, giggling madly, he jumped off my bed and ran noisliy down the stairs.

With a groan, I threw my pillow at the wall. I couldn't wake up the normal way. I don't get an alarm clock or a rooster to wake me up. No, I get a stupid plastic sword in my face.

Well, what did I expect really? This was Tanay's house after all.

(I'm gonna add more you know. We did lots of crazy, crazy stuff)